nomoreslow.

Site speed, for stores that sell things

Slow kills sales.
We kill slow.

We make Shopify & WooCommerce stores brutally fast in a two-week sprint, and prove it with Google's own data. If your Core Web Vitals don't go green, you don't pay.

this page loaded in on your device · your store could feel like this

A typical Shopify storemobile, real-user p75
 ~4.9s until content shows
This pagesame network, same phone
 <0.4s

01 / The math

Every extra second is a tax
on every visitor you paid for.

You're buying clicks with ads, SEO, and email. A slow page quietly refunds them to nobody.

53%

of mobile visitors abandon a page that takes longer than 3 seconds to load.

Source: Google research

+8.4%

more retail conversions from just a 0.1-second improvement in load time.

Source: Deloitte, “Milliseconds Make Millions”

3×

higher conversion rates on pages loading in 1 second versus 5 seconds.

Source: Portent

02 / How it works

Audit. Sprint. Proof.

The audit: free, 48 hours

We pull your store's real-visitor performance from Google's Chrome UX Report, run lab diagnostics, and send you a plain-English breakdown: what's slow, why, and roughly what it's costing you. No call required, no obligation.

The sprint: two weeks, fixed price

We fix the offenders in order of impact: app bloat, render-blocking scripts, oversized images, theme debt, layout shift, tap lag. All on a staging copy of your theme, which you approve before anything ships.

The proof: Google's numbers

You get a before/after report built on Google's field data, the same numbers that decide your search ranking. Not our stopwatch, theirs. Green or refunded.

03 / The usual suspects

Most slow stores are slow
for the same six reasons.

What we findTypical gain
App & third-party script pile-upEvery “free trial” app left its JavaScript behind. It all runs before your product photo shows. −1.0 to −3.0s
Unoptimized images4 MB hero images scaled down in the browser instead of resized, compressed, and lazy-loaded. −0.5 to −2.0s
Render-blocking theme codeCSS and JS loaded up front that the first screen doesn't need. −0.4 to −1.5s
Tap lag (INP)Heavy main-thread work makes “Add to cart” feel broken on phones. Shoppers tap twice, then leave. −100 to −400ms
Layout shift (CLS)The page jumps just as someone taps, straight into a popup. Google penalizes it; customers hate it. → stable
No caching / edge strategyEvery visitor re-downloads everything from scratch, every time. repeat visits ~instant

04 / Pricing

One job. Fixed prices.
A guarantee with teeth.

Speed Audit

$0

Find out what slow is costing you. Free because the data sells itself.

  • Real-user data from Google's Chrome UX Report
  • Lab diagnosis of your top 3 bottlenecks
  • Plain-English report, no jargon, no call required
  • Delivered within 48 hours
Request free audit

Speed Retainer

$490 / month

For stores that ship fast and break things. We keep you green.

  • Continuous monitoring of your real-user vitals
  • Monthly tune-up sprint
  • Speed review of every new app & theme update
  • Regression alerts before Google notices
  • Cancel anytime
Talk to us

The guarantee, in plain words: if your store isn't passing Core Web Vitals in Google's own field data within 60 days of your sprint going live, we refund every dollar. We can offer that because we've never had to.

05 / Questions

Fair questions.

Will you break my store?

No. All work happens on an unpublished copy of your theme. You click through it, approve it, and only then does it go live. We keep a one-click rollback for 30 days after every sprint.

Which platforms do you work with?

Shopify and WooCommerce are our bread and butter. We also take Magento, BigCommerce and custom storefronts, the physics of a slow page are the same everywhere.

How do you measure success?

With Google's numbers, not ours. We report Core Web Vitals from the Chrome UX Report, data collected from your real visitors' phones, alongside lab tests. If Google says your store got fast, it got fast.

What if my scores don't improve?

Then you don't pay. If your store isn't passing Core Web Vitals in Google's field data within 60 days of the sprint going live, we refund the entire fee. (60 days because Google's data is a 28-day rolling window, it takes a few weeks to catch up to reality.)

Do you need full admin access?

No. A staff/collaborator account with theme and app permissions is enough. We never touch orders, customers, or billing, and we work on least-privilege access.

Why is this so much cheaper than an agency?

Because we only do one thing. No discovery workshops, no retainers-for-meetings, no redesign upsell. Speed, proof, done.

Find out what slow is costing you.

The audit is free, takes us 48 hours, and uses Google's data about your real visitors. Worst case: you learn your store is fine.

Get my free speed audit